Working on a Dream




Wednesday, March 9, 2011

NO, your worst 2 letter word.

Face it, when you want something, the last thing you want to hear out of someones mouth is NO.
Below are 5 suggested ways that may help you dance around that dreaded word and get the YES you really wanted. 

1. Don't react:
It is easy to become aroused when faced with a refusal to your suggestion..
Try this, 'Go to the balcony.' Take an objective and less emotional viewpoint. Understand what's going on underneath for all parties.

2. Disarm them:
Rather than fighting, step to their side to listen and show that you care.
By accepting the person and their right to their viewpoint, you encourage them to do likewise to you. Rather than accusing them, you can apologize for misunderstanding and ask them to work with you to find a way forward for all parties.

3. Change the game:
Rather than rejecting them, the principle here is to re-frame what they say, changing the meaning such that it seems that they are actually supporting a collaborative approach. Ask 'why' & 'why not' questions to get past their stated proposal, this way you can start to sense their motives. 

4. Make it easy to say yes:
Sun Tzu, the famous Chinese general said 'Build your enemies a golden bridge', such that this seems to be clearly the best route to take. Involve them. Help them save face. Subtly guide each step of the way.

5. Make it hard to say no:
The goal is to bring them to their senses, not to their knees. Ask them 'What if...' questions so they understand implications. Show them that you have and will use an alternative solution.

*If the above does not work. Just be Likable.

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