Working on a Dream


Leadership

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Life


Monday, February 5, 2024

This morning I opened up Instagram to see the following pictures:  



I was instantly reminded of a book by author and leadership expert, John C. Maxwell, "The Difference Maker," where he quotes an excerpt from a speech given by Barbara Bush that has found its way into most funerals I perform:

We get on board that train at birth, and we want to cross the continent because we have in mind that somewhere out there is a station. We pass by sleepy little towns looking out the window of life strain, grain fields and silos, level grade crossings, buses full of people on the roads beside us. We pass by cities and factories, but we don ‘t look at any of it because we want to get to the station. We believe that out there is a station where a band is playing and banners are hung and flags are waving, and when we get there that will be life s destination. We don ‘t really get to know anybody on the train. We pace up and down the aisles looking at our watches eager to get to the station because we know that life has a station for us.”

“The station changes for us during life. To begin with, for most of us, it’s turning 18, getting out of high school. Then the station is that first promotion and then the station becomes getting the kids out of college, and then the station becomes retirement and then–all too late–we recognize the truth: that this side of that city whose builder is God, there really isn’t a station. The joy is in the journey and the journey is the joy. Sooner or later, you realize there is no station and the truth of life is the trip. Read a book, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, hug a child, go fishing, laugh more. The station will come soon enough. And as you go, find a way to make this world more beautiful."

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There is this verse in the New Testament book of James that reads, "Your life vapor that appeareth for a little time, and afterward, vanisheth away." (Jm 4:14).  

Would you do something for me?

Imagine you are sitting at your bedside moments away from dying.

You are taking your last breaths of life.

You then are transported back...

Back to a time in your life surrounded by your children, family, and friends.  

And you are somehow given another chance... 

A chance to do it all over again.  From that moment onward.

What changes would you make? 

How would knowing what you know now, altar your viewpoint so that you lead more a fulfilled life?


A prayer.  Father, teach me to appreciate the gift of life and the moments that fill them up with an eye on what is truly important. 


Thursday, February 1, 2024

What do YOU see???

Every year my daughter and I get new a pair of glasses.  She insists that I pick out a fancy pair during these appointments, but I have stuck with the same frame for the past 3 years.  She, on the other hand, likes to choose a couple of frames that usually are, according to her, “fancy.”  At the end of the day, after the kids are in bed I always get a head start on the morning routine which includes packing lunches, getting books bags ready, and so on.  During that time, one element that never gets skipped is holding up her glasses to the light as I ready to clean them.  Invariably, there are thick smudge marks all over her lenses.  I take a special wipe and simply swirl the smudges off, and wha-la!  Clean lenses for her to see the world the next day. 


Can I share a story about the way people see the world with you?  


There was once a wise old man sitting at the gate of an ancient city. A young traveler stopped before entering the city and asked the old man, "What kind of people live in this town?" The wise man answered with a question, "What kind of people were in the town you just came from?"

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"Oh, they were liars and cheats and thugs and drunks, terrible people," the young traveler replied. The old man shook his head, "The people in this town are the same way."

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Later another stranger paused to ask the same question, and again the wise man questioned his questioner, "What kind of people did you just leave?"

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The second traveler answered, "Oh, I left a fine town. The people were good and kind and honest and hardworking." The wise man smiled and said, "The people in this town are the same way."


Author John Maxwell teaches a concept called, The Lens Principle. The basic idea is that you and I are walking around with a pair of invisible glasses on our faces; those lenses will determine how we see the world.  


 

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IF you are trusting you will see others as trustworthy.

IF you are critical, you will see others as skeptical. 


There is this powerful short verse in the book of Titus which states, “To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled” (Tit. 1:15). This Scripture teaches that the attitude of your heart will determine how you perceive the world.  This is why Zig Ziglar said, Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.” 


Is time to get that lens cleaner out?  

Monday, July 17, 2023

What is the rarest thing on Earth?

Have you ever noticed that when something is hard to come by, it becomes valuable?


Take, for example, former Major League star Honus Wagner.  According to Wikipedia, Wagner played for the Pittsburgh Pirates and was known as "The Flying Dutchman.”  His baseball card was designed and issued by the American Tobacco Company (ATC) from 1909 to 1911 as part of its T206 series. What many do not know is that Wagner refused to allow the production of his baseball card to continue, either because he did not want children to buy cigarette packs to get his card or because he wanted more compensation from the ATC. Therefore, the ATC ended production of the Wagner card, and only 50 to 200 cards were ever distributed to the public.


Nobody would ever argue that Wagner was the greatest ballplayer ever to walk the diamond, yet, someone paid 7.2 million dollars for one of his difficult-to-find baseball cards.


Why would someone do this? The answer is that the Honus Wagner card is extremely rare.  When something is hard to come by, difficult to find, or out of your reach...the value always goes UP.


Speaking of rarity, I recently was made aware of some statistics related to children and parenting that I was unaware of. 75% of the time you’ll ever get to spend with your kids is over by the time they turn 12. 90% of your time with them is gone by the time they’re 18.


Currently, I have an 8-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter, so those stats stopped me in my tracks. A pit developed in my stomach, and I started looking for a magic wand to stop time.  I immediately thought of those Facebook posts that occur at the end of a child’s senior year shared by their parents. You know, the ones I mean… a picture of a five-year-old getting on the big yellow school bus on the first day of kindergarten.  Big smiles.  Hair combed perfectly. Giant backpack and lunch in hand. Right next to that picture is a current picture of that same child all grown up, ready to head to college.  (Insert tears).


After the kids went to bed, those statistics led me to peruse the years of memories we had made.  Thousands of pictures and hundreds of videos that ranged from common everyday activities to milestones. In the pictures, the kids were so little, so dependent … so present.  Seemingly every picture had the kids at just arm's length away from Dad.  In those pictures, I looked at all those “messes” in the playroom that at the time, frustrated me.  I saw the food all over their clothes as they sat and ate their grandma's homemade sauce. 


I admit that this was difficult, as it reminded me that the above statistics are not only true, they are currently unfolding at a rate that makes me uncomfortable as I write this.  The Greeks had a term for this, nostalgia.  Two Greek words make up this term: nostos (return) and algos (pain).  The idea is as follows, the suffering evoked by the desire to return to one's place of origin.  As much as we would like to stop time, we do not possess the power to do so. Life moves only in one direction, and that is forward.  We cannot return.  We can only reminisce.  We can look back with perspective on the gifts that God provided for us. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us of this, “To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”  


I do a lot of visiting, and during those visits, folks at the later stage of life always reminisce. They tell stories of life while they were young, how they met their spouse, and trips that they took with the family.  It usually ends with a half-joking comment as they look into the distance and say, “How did everything go so fast .” I recall something my dad used to say while I was growing up, “Son, the days are slow, but the years are fast.”  When I was growing up, I never understood what he meant. Now, as an adult with little children, I not only understand it, I feel it. 





Remember Honus Wagner’s baseball card and why it sold for over 7 million dollars?  

It did so because of how rare it is. 

Rare things are costly. 

Rare things are precious. 


A prayer: 

Lord, teach us to number our days so we may grasp what is of true value. 

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Dear Dad, ...

Father’s Day


Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”


Today’s post will deal specifically with Father’s since our country will celebrate Father’s Day on Sunday, June 18th.  As you can see from the above verse, the great leader of Israel is giving the nation a charge as his days of leading are coming to a close.  In the charge, we can learn several valuable insights. 


First, Joshua shares something that all men should heed. He led himself before he led anyone else.  “But as for me…” the great leader exclaimed.  Joshua understood that the mantle of leadership started with himself.  Before he expected commitment from others, he had to commit. Before he asked others to put in extra hours, he worked late.  You get the point, Joshua led by example.  That is always step one.  Jim Rohn says it best when dealing with this specific point: “Leaders must first be, then do.”


Second, just as this was personal for Joshua, his desire was that it was also personal for his family and nation.  “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.”  He knew from years of leading that no one could legislate something like this.  It has to be a personal decision made in individual hearts. Joshua knew that individuals were responsible for themselves in their decision-making. As a father, you can model, you can teach, and you can do almost everything right, but one thing you cannot do is reach into your child’s heart and change it.  The choice is theirs. As my father would say, “Son, you can’t push someone up a ladder if he’s not willing to climb himself.” 


Third, Joshua drew a circle around those he cared for most, his family. “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  Joshua knew something about influence and wanted to use it to help his family.  In Bruce Springsteen’s latest album, Letter to You, he sings a poignant song with the same title.  “Things I found out through hard times and good, I wrote 'em all out in ink and blood. Dug deep in my soul and signed my name true, and sent it in my letter to you. In my letter to you, I took all my fears and doubts. In my letter to you, all the hard things I found out. In my letter to you, all that I've found true. And I sent it in my letter to you.”  It really is a reflection between the singer and his audience.  As an aging rock star looks back at the relationship he has maintained over fifty years, he reflects in the lyrics above and is essentially saying, I poured myself out in my songs for you. A father’s life is similar in that our lives are lived for our children.  We pour ourselves out daily because of the ones we love. Fathers, although you cannot guarantee that your child(ren) will follow after the Lord, you can set the tone by creating an environment where a relationship with the Lord is part of the fabric of your home. You can do this by finding opportunities for prayer; you can wisely insert God’s Word into your family's daily life and provide valuable lessons in your own relationship with God.  Proverbs chapter 4 is particularly helpful when parenting.  In it, the advice of the wise teacher is enduring, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  You will notice that he advises a person to guard their heart. Why?  The answer is provided, “Everything you do flows from it.”  I guess this must be pretty important, as you and I do not stand guard over meaningless things.  I bet no one reading this stands guard over their garbage cans on garbage night.  The reason is that they have no value.  A father is called to lead in a way that he guards his family.  He should use discernment on the things the family listens to, watches, and is influenced by. Your influence over your child(ren) is paramount.  No one will have a voice in your family's life like you will.  


This brings me to my final point. Around this time of the year, I always listen to Coach Jim Valvano and his inspiring messages.  In one of his moving speeches, he refers to his father and says his dad gave him the greatest gift that anyone could ever have given him, “My father believed in me!” He says that every year before the season started, his dad would call him up and say, “Son, my bags are packed.”  Meaning when Jim led his team to the championship, his dad would be there.  So my final piece of advice for fathers is this:  Our expectation is for our children to obey us, and that would be right, but I say, give your child(ren) a reason to obey.  Live in such a way that your child(ren) actually wants to listen to you rather than have to.  Give your child(ren) the best gift on Father’s Day, an example to aspire to.