I had a decision to make at this point. Stay with Christen or go with baby Anthony.
We both thought it best to go with baby A.
So me and my mom went up to West Penn.
By this time, they had figured out that he had compressed his cord and stopped the blood flow in his little body.
The medicine of the Lord Jesus.
He was now relying on these two powerful medicines.
We wanted him to experience our great family of love.
Now I know now what that means.
Then, they took him off of the ventilators.
When they did this the doctor looked at us in the eyes and said
And after about 5 minutes he began this pattern…
-First he would turn blue. Then he would struggle for air.
-He then would return to a beautiful pink color just like any healthy baby.
-This went on not for minutes, or hours, but for days…
Because of our little sweetheart fighting to stay with us, the doctors allowed us to take him to our room.
There we held him, we loved him, we changed him, and we slept with him.
Anthony fought to give us that gift.
Christen and I assured him each time that he struggled to do what he had to do.
We knew that wherever he was, he was in good hands.
So on January the 19th 10:10 p.m. Baby Anthony went to be with Jesus.
As I type this, I am numb.
People have been saying, “I cannot even imagine what you are going through”
And my advice is please do not.
You or anyone you know should not ever have to experience what Christen and I just did.
At times I felt like if it were possible to bottle up all the pain on the earth
All the sorrow from the depths
And every teardrop that the people on this earth have ever cried
Then and only then would you know
But I wish this for no person.
What I have learned is next...