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Monday, February 14, 2011

Mystery to Me: A poem dedicated to my son.

My son,
You will always be a mystery to me

Sometimes,
When I pick up your tiny hospital band
So small, it fits right in the palm of my hand
When I do, I always picture the things together that we would do…

And then, Baby Anthony
Quietly, in my heart I often sit and wonder
Would you have grown up to play ball?
Like dad –would you have been big and tall?

Or like mom,
Would your favorite color have been blue?
When you grew up,
Would you have been eager to tell the truth?

Yes, My dear son
You are a mystery to me,
Now when you mingle with the angels-
I know that you are looking down on mommy and me

I can’t help but imagine…
When would you have taken your first step?
and
How would our doggie Charlie Brown have reacted when you two first met?

Every now and then
As I walk through the store
I catch myself wondering,
Would you have loved a certain toy?
Or would you be content to just hang out with the other girls and boys?

Sadly, other times I ponder how
We never got to hear your precious cry
And I hate that I will never get the chance to stand at the front door
And wave to you goodbye …

Anthony-
A mystery to me you will always be-
Just nine days old
-forever-
To mommy and me

2-14-2011
Written by Dad, with love.

13 comments:

jennifer raymond said...

beautiful poem

daisy said...

I love u guys and pray for u and ur beautiful wife and precious son every night

Deb said...

I had been praying for your precious son since the moment I heard via some Christian friends on facebook. My heart breaks for you. Know that you continue to be in my prayers. ...Baby Anthony - with Jesus...no better place to be! Praying that as you rest in the arms of the Lord that you will find comfort as only He can give - knowing that it won't be long until you are reunited with your precious son. This life...but a vapor...

Anonymous said...

When I read the story and this poem, it brought tears to my eyes, and that rarely happens. Nothing I can say will ease your pain. All I can offer is that it will be a glorious day when you see your son in heaven. He'll know how much love you had for him. If the Good Lord blesses you with another child, I'm sure you both will be the best parents you can be. I pray for peace and comfort to you both.

Anthony K said...

thank you all for your kind words...it really means a lot

Anonymous said...

We are so sorry for your loss. What a precious, little boy you had. It was so sad reading about your loss. The poem was beautiful.

Joe Gierlach said...

Anthony and Christen

My deepest and heartfelt condolences for your loss. You could not have summarized the "pain" that goes along with type of loss any better. I believe I can connect with your feelings as I too, have experienced this tragic and devastating pain. In 2004, my precious son was taken home to be with the Lord in an auto accident in which he was a passenger. (You may or may not remember the event in which 5 Mohawk students were involved in the accident where a Penn DOT snowplow truck collided with a pickup truck in Butler)

You could not be more correct in stating that no one should even attempt to imagine the crushing pain that follows. It is so true that only through family/friends/faith that we are sustained.

Without God's grace, I would not have chosen to move forward. It is a struggle every day and some are more difficult than others. Too often I feel vulnerable and could easily give up, but I won't. But I too share your sentiment that by using the gifts given from above to make a difference in other's lives is the only way to do God's will and work to ensure I realize the most important thing on the face of this earth..................reunion with my precious son in paradise. Wrong choices or decisions for me personally would jeopardize this ultimate reality and I am not willing to take that chance. Reunion is simply the most important goal I have in this life and the next.

I am sure you and Christen will also share in your reunion with Anthony, and the mystery will be removed.

Take care and God Bless.
Joe

Anthony K said...

Joe,
Your words really hit home with me. I want to thank you for sharing and pray God's blessings and mercy over you...till you meet your boy again.

Jean said...

I am so sorry for your lose.. I cant even to being to imagine your pain.. My prays and thoughts go out to you and ur wife and family... I hope that one day the great lord above blesses you both with a beautiful baby that you guys will be able to enjoy and love and give a wonderful life to

Anonymous said...

Your story and courage have touched my heart. As I grieve the loss of both parents this past summer, I remind myself that I will see them and hug them again in heaven. They taught me about faith under impossible circumstances. My deepest sympathy to you both. I will pray for your difficult journey through the grief. God bless, Debbie

Anonymous said...

When i read this story oh man did i just break down in tears... I am so sorry for you guys loss.. He is so precious... I am actually in the process of pregnancy now and i really nervous were getting into the last couple months and its like everytime i go to the doctors there saying something else is wrong and im very scared.. But i am very sorry that you guys had to experience something so horrible... May god be with you both and keep your lil angel watching over the both of you.. And your poem was beautiful... You both have my sorrow... Sorry to hear about your loss...

Anonymous said...

Your love is beautiful. God bless you. I will keep you both in my prayers.

Johnna Robinson said...

This poem is beautiful. The bond that you and Christen have is what most of us can only imagine. You two are so blessed to have each other in your life. I always read your posts and say Christen is so lucky to have Anthony, Anthony is so lucky to have Christen. You two are an inspiration.