Why Anthony is a Relational Softy (& you should be one too)

Dot #1:

Many of you know that only 10 percent of an Iceberg is visual.   The vast majority of the Iceberg, what is hidden beneath the surface, is unseen to the human eye.  I found a great picture to illustrate this below...

Dot #2:

There is a lot that we can learn from an Iceberg.  For example, did you know that in life, there are 2 dimensions that need your attention. 

-The HARD SIDE

and

-The SOFT SIDE.

The Hard Side is made up of 3 dimensional areas that you can see, touch and feel.  For example, in a work environment the hard issues are the elements that you can measure, see or recognize. Many leaders tend to focus on these issues because they are tangible. 

The Soft Side is about the human issues.  Attitudes, mind sets and hearts.  An good example of a soft issue is feeling mistreated & under appreciated at work.  Most leaders ignore these issues (to their own peril).   

Dot #3:
As you probably guessed, the Hard Side of work corresponds with the part of the Iceberg that you and I can actually see.  It is the physical part that sticks out of the water.  You will also recall that is the smallest part, making up only 10 percent of the Iceberg.  The flip side is that the Soft Side connects with the part of the Iceberg that cannot be seen but makes up the overwhelming majority of the Iceberg. 

Have you ever noticed that the underlying cause of problems are the Soft Issues? Remember these are the human issues (the bad attitudes, the hurt feelings, Etc.) that an excellent leader must be (1) aware of and (2) address.  Think about it, if you go to your doctor complaining of a physical illness, that doctor should not only treat the physical element they must also treat the symptoms.     

--Friends, the Soft Issues are the symptoms!  Whether it is in your family or at work, remember to focus not only on the external --but on the unseen issues too. 

This will save you a lot of head ache in your marriage too.  One example I heard recently is when a wife complained to her husband on Mother's Day.  The husband had a surprise dinner for her at an exquisite restaurant and could not understand why she was not happy.  She then explained to him how she expressed numerous times that all she wanted for Mother's Day was to relax at home with the family and have a nice dinner.  The husband could not wrap his mind around this until it was explained to him that he violated the #1 rule of husbandry ...HE DID NOT LISTEN TO HIS WIFE = Soft Issue.

Jesus, the Ultimate Example. 
Since the earth knows no better leader than Jesus, it would be prudent to see Him in action.  In the end of Mark's Gospel we read an account of Jesus' Resurrection and some dialogue with the people that first discovered Him alive.  While Jesus was talking, He asked if that group could, "Go & tell the disciples and Peter" (v. 7) about what they have just seen. 
-Did you ever notice the "AND PETER" part of that verse?  Peter was a disciple last time I checked.  So why would Jesus be sure to emphasize that Peter was still considered a disciple? 
-Could it be that Peter was feeling like a sell out since he just denied Jesus 3 times?      -Could it be that Peter felt like an outsider because of his actions? 

Here we see Jesus fully aware of how best to address his faltering friend. 
Yes, he was still a disciple. = Hard Issue
And yes, Jesus was fully aware of the shame and guilt that Peter was wrestling with inside.   = Soft Issue

"A wise man will hear & increase learning and a man of understanding will acquire wisdom." 

 -Proverbs 1: 5