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Monday, May 20, 2013

Why I Do NOT Trust you.

Many of us have enjoyed the confidence of a trusted advisor. A person that we can go to when we are facing one of life's many dilemmas.

I just put down the book, The Trusted Advisor, where the authors have discussed the important virtue of trust.  Before we move further, have you ever thought about what makes a person trustworthy? What are the qualities you look for that give you the confidence to trust another person as your advisor? What are the reasons you regularly invite them into your life and into your most personal problems? 

I'm sure that you have a list of several qualities building up in your mind, nonetheless, below I will highlight the most important one of all: Trust.

Trust must be earned and deserved. Before someone trusts you, they will need evidence by which they will base their decision on whether or not they will trust you in the future.  When building trust, there are a handful of truths you must bear in mind. Below, I will highlight the building blocks to building trust.

Think of Jack Burns, played by Robert DeNiro in the movie Meet the Fokers.
First, you must understand that trust is something that grows. In other words, trust rarely develops instantaneously. A wise person will watch what a person says and what a person does, then they will wait to see if the person's words and actions match. In the book, The Leadership Challenge, I learned that the number one way for one to build trust is to live by this acronym: "DWYSYWD"
-Do What You Say You Will Do-

Secondly, trust is risky business. There are always at least two parties involved in a trust relationship.Simply put, if party A does not trust party B (or vice a versa), things will fall apart quicker then when a draft hits a house of cards. 

Thirdly, trust is always personal. I've never trusted an organization, business plan, or standard operating procedure ... but I've always trusted a person or group of people. An institution is only as trustworthy as the individuals working in it.

Personally, my most coveted personal advisor is my wife Christen. This past Sunday was Mother's Day and I highlighted the following verses:
"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 
The heart of her husband trusts in her..."
(Proverbs 31:10-11) 



Leadership Application:
I hope that as you read this, you reflect on the power of trust. Over the years, I have noticed that the truly great person will not only think about the person God has placed in their life as a trusted advisor, they will also think about becoming a trusted advisor.
And to accomplish this, you must first become a person who is trustworthy

2 comments:

Ann Mullen said...

Anthony, trust is the word I use instead of faith because I understand trust better. As for trusting people too much, CS Lewis reminds us that all people will disappoint us. The people who never will are the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Anthony Kladitis said...

I like that. Trust and Faith are mos def different sides of the same coin.

Nice insight!