Dear Dad, ...

Father’s Day

Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Today’s post will deal specifically with Father’s since our country will celebrate Father’s Day on Sunday, June 18th.  As you can see from the above verse, the great leader of Israel is giving the nation a charge as his days of leading are coming to a close.  In the charge, we can learn several valuable insights. 

First, Joshua shares something that all men should heed. He led himself before he led anyone else.  “But as for me…” the great leader exclaimed.  Joshua understood that the mantle of leadership started with himself.  Before he expected commitment from others, he had to commit. Before he asked others to put in extra hours, he worked late.  You get the point, Joshua led by example.  That is always step one.  Jim Rohn says it best when dealing with this specific point: “Leaders must first be, then do.”

Second, just as this was personal for Joshua, his desire was that it was also personal for his family and nation.  “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.”  He knew from years of leading that no one could legislate something like this.  It has to be a personal decision made in individual hearts. Joshua knew that individuals were responsible for themselves in their decision-making. As a father, you can model, you can teach, and you can do almost everything right, but one thing you cannot do is reach into your child’s heart and change it.  The choice is theirs. As my father would say, “Son, you can’t push someone up a ladder if he’s not willing to climb himself.” 

Third, Joshua drew a circle around those he cared for most, his family. “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  Joshua knew something about influence and wanted to use it to help his family.  In Bruce Springsteen’s latest album, Letter to You, he sings a poignant song with the same title.  “Things I found out through hard times and good, I wrote 'em all out in ink and blood. Dug deep in my soul and signed my name true, and sent it in my letter to you. In my letter to you, I took all my fears and doubts. In my letter to you, all the hard things I found out. In my letter to you, all that I've found true. And I sent it in my letter to you.”  It really is a reflection between the singer and his audience.  As an aging rock star looks back at the relationship he has maintained over fifty years, he reflects in the lyrics above and is essentially saying, I poured myself out in my songs for you. A father’s life is similar in that our lives are lived for our children.  We pour ourselves out daily because of the ones we love. Fathers, although you cannot guarantee that your child(ren) will follow after the Lord, you can set the tone by creating an environment where a relationship with the Lord is part of the fabric of your home. You can do this by finding opportunities for prayer; you can wisely insert God’s Word into your family's daily life and provide valuable lessons in your own relationship with God.  Proverbs chapter 4 is particularly helpful when parenting.  In it, the advice of the wise teacher is enduring, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  You will notice that he advises a person to guard their heart. Why?  The answer is provided, “Everything you do flows from it.”  I guess this must be pretty important, as you and I do not stand guard over meaningless things.  I bet no one reading this stands guard over their garbage cans on garbage night.  The reason is that they have no value.  A father is called to lead in a way that he guards his family.  He should use discernment on the things the family listens to, watches, and is influenced by. Your influence over your child(ren) is paramount.  No one will have a voice in your family's life like you will.  

This brings me to my final point. Around this time of the year, I always listen to Coach Jim Valvano and his inspiring messages.  In one of his moving speeches, he refers to his father and says his dad gave him the greatest gift that anyone could ever have given him, “My father believed in me!” He says that every year before the season started, his dad would call him up and say, “Son, my bags are packed.”  Meaning when Jim led his team to the championship, his dad would be there.  So my final piece of advice for fathers is this:  Our expectation is for our children to obey us, and that would be right, but I say, give your child(ren) a reason to obey.  Live in such a way that your child(ren) actually wants to listen to you rather than have to.  Give your child(ren) the best gift on Father’s Day, an example to aspire to. 

Baccalaureate Speech taking the Internet by storm!

https://youtu.be/N8AWT7nhhIA

Has life passed YOU by?

Thornton Wilder, in his play Our Town, tells the story of life as it is lived out and amid the relationships of mundane daily living. We see life’s daily routine in all its monotony: the milk arrives, dinner is eaten, laborers people go to their jobs, housewives clean their homes, and handymen go to work daily.  In the story, the turning point came when Emily Gibbs died giving birth to her baby, and the routine was suddenly broken.

From the realm of the dead, Emily is given a chance to return to earth for a day of her choice as it was actually lived out, so she could enjoy it once again, this time through nostalgic eyes. She watched the activity and preparation that was going on in celebration of her twelfth birthday. As expected, on an occasion, the household is filled with presents, food, and family. The party buzzes with activity.

But from the sidelines, Emily notices the complete loss of any personal attention that would make her day and life meaningful. The attention of everyone is on the occasion, not on the person. She is appalled at what she observes. From the unseen, she pleads, "Just for a moment, we’re happy. Let’s look at one another." But her cry is disregarded. They could not hear her because they were trapped by the superficial.  As she bids her final farewell, she laments, "Oh, Earth, you’re too wonderful for anyone to realize you!"

Then she turns to the stage manager and asks, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it every, every moment?"

The response comes, "No. The saints and poets, maybe they do some."

"Do any realize life while they live it?”

Psalm 39 teaches us a somber lesson as the Psalmist provides us with keen perspective: 

“Lord, reveal to me the end of my life and the number of my days. Let me know how short-lived I am. You, indeed, have made my days short in length, and my life span as nothing in Your sight. Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor. 

Certainly, man walks about like a mere shadow.
Indeed, they frantically rush around in vain,
gathering possessions
without knowing who will get them.

Now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You.”

Maybe this would be a good time for you to take a moment and ponder this question. 

Why is it that at the end of most people’s lives, they all wish they had smiled more, worked less, and spent more quality time with those they loved the most?  More engaging conversations, a lot less arguing over the trivial, and so many more hugs. 

We tend to buzz right through life, from one calendar appointment to the next -all the while missing the remarkable moments that fill our lives. 

If this article strikes a chord with you, I will ask that you take it; post it in a place where you can see it every day.  

Because we all need reminders, don’t we?

Reminders to "Realize life while we live it."

I can't get NO satisfaction!

“So if not satisfaction, what is a worthy goal for our lives? In the words of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, “to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” When we reorient ourselves around God, rather than expect him to orient himself around us, we stop wondering what is worth living for.”1 

 In his book First Things First, Stephen Covey suggests changing the way we think about time: from the clock to the compass. Clock thinking is working out how to get more and more things done. Compass thinking is working out which things to focus on in the first place. “Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.” Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe. How often have you said, “I wish I had more time to get things done!”  The Clock represents how well we manage our time, so we are always looking for new tools and apps that can increase our efficiency by squeezing more and more tasks and activities into our daily and weekly routines.  We are doing enough of the right things that are embedded in our Compass – i.e., those first things that matter the most to us in life, like our purpose, our mission, our relationships, our values and principles, and our key priorities that were laid out so brilliantly by Stephen Covey in his best-selling book Putting First Things First. 

I recall a book that was very popular years ago titled, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” This is rather misleading, according to Covey’s advice. The reason is that the small things, indeed, make up the BIG things!  It has been said that “If you take care of the minutes, the hours will take care of themselves.”  Jesus taught this principle in Luke 16:10 when he said, “He that is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much: and he that is unrighteous in a very little is unrighteous also in much.” To clarify, the compass represents the BIG things, the things in your life that you value.  Aspects like: family, faith, friends, and career.  The clock represents the little things and how you live your daily life.  So if you want to be a happy person, you must first decide what your core values are and then hold on dearly to the things you truly value.  Then, you must live in a way that aligns with that decision.  The reason why many are unhappy today is because their Compass and their Watch are out of whack.  There is no alignment between the BIG things (their values) and the small things (how they live).  

Biblically, we see this tension in the life of our Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane. Recall the setting. The disciples were asked to stay awake and pray, yet Jesus returned to find them snoozing. Remember, many will confuse your goal(s) if they do not understand your compass, which is invisible, and the watch is visible. What was important to Jesus at that time seemingly was not to His followers. You will be driven by your values more than those around you - pursue them anyway! I digress; back to the point, Jesus was in deep despair, yet we find Him praying, “Not my will, but your will be done.” Jesus was keenly aware of what was right about the corner. He understood the assignment, yet He unflinchingly bowed to the will of God for His life. Why did He do this? Better yet, HOW did he do this? It was because His highest value was found in delighting His Father. Circling back to the original quote, he found satisfaction in a worthy goal. Satisfaction is something we all pursue, so hopefully, your life follows your values, providing you with the satisfaction you are looking for.     

1. Amy Simpson, ALL THE SATISFACTION WE CAN'T FIND: WHY FILLING THAT 'GOD-SHAPED HOLE' MAY NOT BE GOD'S PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Why is EVERYONE so MEAN!!!!

What do you see? A man entered a village and went to the monastery on the edge of town, where he was welcomed by an old monk, the wise man of the village. The visitor said, “I am deciding whether I should move here or not. I’m wondering what kind of neighborhood this is. Can you tell me about the people here?” The old monk said, “Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from.” The visitor said, “Oh, they were highway robbers, cheats and liars.” The monk said, “You know, those are exactly the same kinds of people who live here.” The visitor left the village and never came back. Half an hour later, another man entered the village. He sought out the wise old man and said, “I’m thinking of moving here. Can you tell me what kind of people live here?” Again the monk said, “Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from.” The visitor said, “Oh, they were the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate, most loving people. I shall miss them terribly. The old monk said, “Those are exactly the kinds of people who live here, too.” This is the story I share with the congregation every time new members join Faith Presbyterian Church. I explain that there is no perfect church and that we are all imperfect sinners saved by a perfect Savior. In essence, if you are joining the church with the expectation that “this’ church is faultless, then you will be disappointed. The Apostle Paul concludes his Epistle to the Corinthians with the following admonition,” Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves” (II Cor. 13:5). Paul wants us to think critically about our life. The book of James echos this teaching when he writes, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like” (Jm. 1:22-24). The idea is for you and me to take an honest look at ourselves. A person's perspective colors their entire life.  Everyone you know is living with an invisible set of sunglasses on their face that shades how they see life around them.  Taken further, you could also add a set of earbuds filtering how one hears and takes in information.  While looking at ourselves honestly, we will discover many things: some delightful, some painful. A great way to gain perspective on yourself is by listening to those around you whom you love and trust. If you ask them, you will receive proper feedback.  Self-reflection becomes vital to healthy relationships because if one is not in touch with themselves to some degree, then they run the risk of distorting everything around them. Let us circle back to the story at the beginning of this article; one lesson that we can gain is that what you see is what you get. Both men experienced the same community of people yet had a contrary viewpoint on them. Have you ever noticed that two people can go through the very same thing yet experience it very differently? A primary reason is how you see the world. Stephen Covey teaches in his book, The 8th Habit, the following, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.” As you travel through life, do you relate more with the first or the second traveler?