Powerful Video: Johnny the Bagger

Think you can't make a difference?
Think you can't add significance to the mundane?
Think again..

-If this story touched you like it did me, pass it on by sharing it. 

Growing Pains: 4 Lessons of Leading.

Many of you have come to me with questions inquiring about leadership practices.

-What should I read?
-What should I start incorporating into my life?
-What should I stop doing / saying in order to gain more influence?

-How do I navigate an ever changing world?

Honestly, the understanding and practice of leadership is a daunting endeavor, so for the sake of simplicity, I will give you 4 practical areas to focus on. 

If you aspire to lead, you need to (1) focus on Self-Awareness.

I call this "Mirror Gazing." This is the first step because in order to lead others you must lead yourself.  Leaders first have to "be" before they can "do."  This stage is painful, because this is where you will expose the blind spots in your life that hinder your potential.  Some suggested tools to help you grow in this area are: Eleventalents Website, Emotional Intelligence & The Johari Window.  There is simply no substitute for self-awareness, so start taking a long look at yourself get make sure you have some very thick skin.  

(2) Give your attention to Developing your Skills.
Developing your capabilities to lead is imperative.  This is all about practical experience.  Here is a simple way to think about this area:  This is information you will put down on your resume.  A list of tangible achievements that you actually performed.  Therefore, find ways to put what you are learning into practice.  Your potential for leading will increase as you grow your capability to lead.  Take the time to read thought provoking material(s), surround yourself with successful people, find ways to observe their practices and then get creative on implementing those principles.  There is nothing like real-life experience; so find ways to apply what you are learning about yourself & the leadership lessons you have been learning in an environment that encourages growth.

The next area you will give attention to is Resource Management.

Time management, money management, maintaining a healthy body, growing spiritually & mentally.  This is where many potential leaders fail.  If you do not get a firm grasp on these areas, you are sabotaging yourself.  It is like going to the GYM and only developing your biceps and triceps ...  Do not underestimate the importance of this area, it will make or break you.  Think about it this way, you may have all the experience and knowledge in the world, but if you are not self disciplined, it will reflect in your daily life and you will lose influence with those you wish to lead.

In number two, I wrote about the importance of developing your leadership capabilities; in the final area of your growth, you have to focus on growing your leadership capacity. The idea here is developing your mind. You start out leading with a single shot, but you will need to develop into a six shooter. Your personal growth will depend directly upon your attitude. The reason is because we all get to a place of complacency.  We plateau and get comfortable.  What separates the average person from the great IS the ability to push, the ability to confront yourself; the ability to feel the pain and persevere.

Above are four areas that no leader can afford to overlook.  They are all equally important and you cannot ignore one over the other.  Truthfully, the vast majority of people I come across only focus on 1 or 2 of them and over time, lose steam.  If you would like to know more about the above, feel free to write me, I'd be more than happy to expand on anything above. 

Remember, my goal is to help you to reach yours!

This is Why your Marriage IS failing

Ahhh the days of old.
When she would drive to your house after the graveyard shift; you would see her car pull up and you would bolt outside to greet her with a handful of flowers and a a pair of new shoes. 

-Those were the days!

The days of you making mixed tapes with every song somehow sharing exactly how you felt about the person. The days of her making your favorite dinner with candles lit just as you walk in the door. The days when one of your cars would break down and it did not matter because you would walk to see one another if you had to.

Did you ever stop and wonder what had happened since you and your spouse first started dating?

Now you two are more like a couple of Goodwill Mannequins sitting next to each other on the couch, both decked out in your fabulous grey tattered sweatpant suits.

Sound familiar? Of course it does.  Keep reading as I will help make sense of this relational mishap.

Every person has an Acquisition Strategy when dating.  At this point of your life, you do not have a mate and you want one, so you put on your very best hoping to win over the girl or guy of your dreams.  Men do things like: go to the gym, buy flowers, say nice things and take long walks with their potential mate.  Girls do things like: wear makeup, dress really cute, cook, and talk about how they are OK with everything their future husband wants to one day accomplish. [If you can't find the humor, it's your fault].


The Acquisition Stage is all about attracting your future spouse. As comedian Chris Rock once said, "When you are dating, you are acting like you are when you go for a job interview."  In others words, you dress your best, speak with grace, and put your best foot forward.  This is the best version of you that you are presenting to your potential other half.

Generally speaking, you and I have no problem with this part of the game.
After you get the girl, something kinda weird happens -you get sloppy. And you get lazy.  You won her over, now you are comfortable.  You tried really hard during the acquisition stage because you were trying your best to win over your potential spouse but now that you have him, its the grey sweat suit outfit every single day.    

Let us move on to the second stage, the stage where our marriages fail.
The Retention Stage. This is the phase where you continue to grow your relationship.
Here you will be intentional about two things: 
1.  That the first phase of your relationship is NOT a phase.
2. That you will have to continually work to foster a blossoming relationship with your spouse.

AND guess what that means?  Work.

See, Hollywood gets it wrong every time as they continually showcase the ability to attain the person they are attracted to, but over time split because of that funny little word I mentioned above: Work.
The point is that all those homemade cards, love letters and cute pictures must be your relationship; not a part of it that was years ago. 


All the effort we placed in the Acquisition Stage must not cease at the Altar when you both say, "I DO."  Your marriage will be, should be, and can be your greatest accomplishment when you leave this earth.

My advice?

-Continue wooing your spouse- 

Just as a fire dies without fuel, so will your relationship -with the most important person in your life- without intentional love. 

"I am the Vine & you are the Branches...
Abide in Me & you will bear much fruit."
John 15: 5

Edging out your Competition (a 4 step plan)

I love it when I read a book and the author lays out simple ways to accomplish something difficult.  In Scott McKain's informational book titled, "Collapse of Distinction" he lays out a systematic plan to get you a step above your competition. 

Before you go further, I believe that there is something pivotal to understand, a disclaimer of sort. Many wrongly assume that getting ahead in life is somehow bad or unbiblical.  To this I say, please get out of your Pharisaical Cocoon.  Every single day you and I try to bargain ourselves into or out of something.  We spend our lives trying to accomplish our dreams...this is in fact very Biblical. 

Perhaps the issue is with the title, "Edging out your Competition"   If so, then let me reframe it for you...

-Stop being such a boring person (or company)-

There. 
Is that better for you and your theology?

I'll step off my soapbox now.
Below are the 4 ways to bring differentiation and success to your life and business. 

1. Get Clear:
Like a fingerprint, each one of us is unique. Getting clear means figuring out what makes you different than all the rest of the billions of people roaming the Earth.  This can be sort of daunting because many of us have been raised to conform and fit in.  As the saying goes, "The nail sticking out gets drivin' in."  These days you have to find your uniqueness and then get crystal clear about it.  Living like a Cog is not something that will get you to stand out, so part 1 of this process is looking at what makes you different. 

2. Get Creative:
This is a stage where many of us get bogged down.  We have our meetings where we brainstorm the ways in which we are different, but then are too afraid to step out of the box to apply those differences.  Listen, you can be as clear as you want on paper, but unless those differences become reality, you are living on Fantasy Island.  A common misconception about being creative is that you have to do something drastic.  This is not the case. Remember, you are looking for ways that differentiate yourself (or your business) from the competition.  In McKain's book, he illustrates this nicely when he writes about a young boy with Downs Syndrome named Johnny that makes a HUGE impact on the grocery store he works for.
[Here is the link on YouTube if you want to know more about Johnny's story  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDrmFolx2wc ]. 
Do not move on if you do not grasp the main point, you do not need to recreate your entire organization or become a different person to achieve distinction.  Just find, highlight and then get creative on how you connect those differences with your target audience. 

3. Generate Communication:
I am not talking about Bullet Points or boring adds, I am talking about communicating through the power of story.  It is no accident that the majority of the Bible is narrative and that the most powerful communicators use story to grip their audience. 
-Story's stick. 
---Find yours. ---Find your company's. 
Use step 2 to enhance your story by thinking outside the box, then create a number of different avenues to communicate it.   

4. Get Focused on the Customer Experience:

Feedback. You will need it. 

Find ways to close the loop between what your customers experienced and you will attain one of the single greatest factors in aiding your endeavors to attain success. One of the most demanding events that I put on every year is Vacation Bible School.  For five days volunteers come out to the church to give of their time.  This is after they put in a full day of work and this all happens in the sweltering heat.  Each year I try to improve our VBS by learning a bit from the previous year.  I accomplish this by making feedback forms for each of the significant players that helped with VBS.  I include specific questions, along with open spaces for them to write their own perspective on how we can improve next year.  Afterward, I gather all the forms, type up the feedback and then have a debriefing meeting. 

This process is absolutely essential to our success. 

Conclusion:

-You were made to make a difference.

-You were made for significance.

Do you believe that about yourself?

If I was a betting person, I would put my money on the fact that at one time in your life you did. 

----Perhaps there is a little flame that still glows inside of you?

Let the fact that you are an Image Bearer,
Created by God and For God, blow fuel on that flame and watch it burn...

-You were created Unique-
Live your life that Way

4th

"America is not just a country, it's an idea."

BONO