Father's Day for the hurting

On this Father’s Day, the silence weighs,

An empty house, a quiet haze.

The laughter once that filled these walls,

Now echoes in these lonely halls.

Small handprints on the window pane,

Remind me of a time more sane.

When little voices called my name,

And every day felt much the same.

Their beds untouched, their toys all still,

A void that time can never fill.

I miss their eyes, their smiles bright,

Their hugs that made the dark seem light.

I sit and think of days gone by,

And try my best not to cry.

For though they’re far, they’re in my heart,

A love that distance can’t impart.

This day, a heavy weight to bear,

A father’s love beyond compare.

I hold on to each memory,

And wait for when they’re here with me

The Girl with Two Apples

A Story: 

A little girl was standing in the kitchen holding two apples with both hands. One green.  One red.  

Her mom came in and softly asked her daughter with a smile,  “Sweetie, could you give your mom one of your two apples?”

The little girl looked up at her mom for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite of one apple, and then quickly of the other.

The mom felt the smile on her face freeze and her anger boiled over as she watched her daughter bite both apples. The mother then scolded her daughter and sat her in time-out.  

After a few minutes, as the mother’s cool returned, she asked her daughter why she would bite both apples.  The little girl explained that she bit the apple to find out which one of the two was sweeter for her to offer.  

Lesson:  Delay your judgment so that you may find out the reality of the situation.  Mismanaging conflict notoriously leads to deeper problems such as: destroying reputations, gossip, character assassination, and alienation from others. 

There is a tremendous formula provided in the Bible that connects with the above story.  Jesus teaches in Matthew 18:15,  “If someone sins against you, go and confront them while the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have won them back.”  The original context of this passage is related to the Church, however, this principle can be applied broadly to most conflicts. This approach will ensure that you hear firsthand about the situation.  During your time with the person, you can ask questions and find out many things that were assumed.  For example, you may find out what the person’s motives were or if there was any miscommunication.  At the end of the day, you may still not see eye to eye, but this approach at least allows the parties to share with one another.  

If the mother had been curious about her daughter’s behavior, rather than jumped to conclusions, she would have praised her child for being so considerate.  Instead, her assumptions led to punishment.  

The Black Dot

The Black Dot

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions….just a black dot in the center of the page. 

The professor seeing the expression on everyone’s face, told them the following: “I want you to write what you see there.”

The students got started on the inexplicable task.

At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading them aloud in front of all the students. All without exception, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet. 

After all had been read the professor began to explain:

“I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate – nature renewing itself every day, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, and the miracles we see every day.

However, we insist on focusing only on the dark spots – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, and the disappointment with a friend.

The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.

Where is your focus?

Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

This morning I opened up Instagram to see the following pictures:  

I was instantly reminded of a book by author and leadership expert, John C. Maxwell, "The Difference Maker," where he quotes an excerpt from a speech given by Barbara Bush that has found its way into most funerals I perform:

“We get on board that train at birth, and we want to cross the continent because we have in mind that somewhere out there is a station. We pass by sleepy little towns looking out the window of life strain, grain fields and silos, level grade crossings, buses full of people on the roads beside us. We pass by cities and factories, but we don ‘t look at any of it because we want to get to the station. We believe that out there is a station where a band is playing and banners are hung and flags are waving, and when we get there that will be life s destination. We don ‘t really get to know anybody on the train. We pace up and down the aisles looking at our watches eager to get to the station because we know that life has a station for us.”

“The station changes for us during life. To begin with, for most of us, it’s turning 18, getting out of high school. Then the station is that first promotion and then the station becomes getting the kids out of college, and then the station becomes retirement and then–all too late–we recognize the truth: that this side of that city whose builder is God, there really isn’t a station. The joy is in the journey and the journey is the joy. Sooner or later, you realize there is no station and the truth of life is the trip. Read a book, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, hug a child, go fishing, laugh more. The station will come soon enough. And as you go, find a way to make this world more beautiful."

-

There is this verse in the New Testament book of James that reads, "Your life a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and afterward, vanisheth away." (Jm 4:14).  

Would you do something for me?

Imagine you are sitting at your bedside moments away from dying.

You are taking your last breaths of life.

You then are transported back...

Back to a time in your life surrounded by your children, family, and friends.  

And you are somehow given another chance... 

A chance to do it all over again.  From that moment onward.

What changes would you make? 

How would knowing what you know now, altar your viewpoint so that you lead more a fulfilled life?

A prayer.  Father, teach me to appreciate the gift of life and the moments that fill them up with an eye on what is truly important. 

What do YOU see???

Every year my daughter and I get new a pair of glasses.  She insists that I pick out a fancy pair during these appointments, but I have stuck with the same frame for the past 3 years.  She, on the other hand, likes to choose a couple of frames that usually are, according to her, “fancy.”  At the end of the day, after the kids are in bed I always get a head start on the morning routine which includes packing lunches, getting books bags ready, and so on.  During that time, one element that never gets skipped is holding up her glasses to the light as I ready to clean them.  Invariably, there are thick smudge marks all over her lenses.  I take a special wipe and simply swirl the smudges off, and wha-la!  Clean lenses for her to see the world the next day. 

Can I share a story about the way people see the world with you?  

There was once a wise old man sitting at the gate of an ancient city. A young traveler stopped before entering the city and asked the old man, "What kind of people live in this town?" The wise man answered with a question, "What kind of people were in the town you just came from?"

.

"Oh, they were liars and cheats and thugs and drunks, terrible people," the young traveler replied. The old man shook his head, "The people in this town are the same way."

.

Later another stranger paused to ask the same question, and again the wise man questioned his questioner, "What kind of people did you just leave?"

.

The second traveler answered, "Oh, I left a fine town. The people were good and kind and honest and hardworking." The wise man smiled and said, "The people in this town are the same way."

Author John Maxwell teaches a concept called, The Lens Principle. The basic idea is that you and I are walking around with a pair of invisible glasses on our faces; those lenses will determine how we see the world.  

 

IF you are trusting you will see others as trustworthy.

IF you are critical, you will see others as skeptical. 

There is this powerful short verse in the book of Titus which states, “To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled” (Tit. 1:15). This Scripture teaches that the attitude of your heart will determine how you perceive the world.  This is why Zig Ziglar said, “Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.” 

Is time to get that lens cleaner out?  

What is the rarest thing on Earth?

Have you ever noticed that when something is hard to come by, it becomes valuable?

Take, for example, former Major League star Honus Wagner.  According to Wikipedia, Wagner played for the Pittsburgh Pirates and was known as "The Flying Dutchman.”  His baseball card was designed and issued by the American Tobacco Company (ATC) from 1909 to 1911 as part of its T206 series. What many do not know is that Wagner refused to allow the production of his baseball card to continue, either because he did not want children to buy cigarette packs to get his card or because he wanted more compensation from the ATC. Therefore, the ATC ended production of the Wagner card, and only 50 to 200 cards were ever distributed to the public.

Nobody would ever argue that Wagner was the greatest ballplayer ever to walk the diamond, yet, someone paid 7.2 million dollars for one of his difficult-to-find baseball cards.

Why would someone do this? The answer is that the Honus Wagner card is extremely rare.  When something is hard to come by, difficult to find, or out of your reach...the value always goes UP.

Speaking of rarity, I recently was made aware of some statistics related to children and parenting that I was unaware of. 75% of the time you’ll ever get to spend with your kids is over by the time they turn 12. 90% of your time with them is gone by the time they’re 18.

Currently, I have an 8-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter, so those stats stopped me in my tracks. A pit developed in my stomach, and I started looking for a magic wand to stop time.  I immediately thought of those Facebook posts that occur at the end of a child’s senior year shared by their parents. You know, the ones I mean… a picture of a five-year-old getting on the big yellow school bus on the first day of kindergarten.  Big smiles.  Hair combed perfectly. Giant backpack and lunch in hand. Right next to that picture is a current picture of that same child all grown up, ready to head to college.  (Insert tears).

After the kids went to bed, those statistics led me to peruse the years of memories we had made.  Thousands of pictures and hundreds of videos that ranged from common everyday activities to milestones. In the pictures, the kids were so little, so dependent … so present.  Seemingly every picture had the kids at just arm's length away from Dad.  In those pictures, I looked at all those “messes” in the playroom that at the time, frustrated me.  I saw the food all over their clothes as they sat and ate their grandma's homemade sauce. 

I admit that this was difficult, as it reminded me that the above statistics are not only true, they are currently unfolding at a rate that makes me uncomfortable as I write this.  The Greeks had a term for this, nostalgia.  Two Greek words make up this term: nostos (return) and algos (pain).  The idea is as follows, the suffering evoked by the desire to return to one's place of origin.  As much as we would like to stop time, we do not possess the power to do so. Life moves only in one direction, and that is forward.  We cannot return.  We can only reminisce.  We can look back with perspective on the gifts that God provided for us. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us of this, “To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”  

I do a lot of visiting, and during those visits, folks at the later stage of life always reminisce. They tell stories of life while they were young, how they met their spouse, and trips that they took with the family.  It usually ends with a half-joking comment as they look into the distance and say, “How did everything go so fast .” I recall something my dad used to say while I was growing up, “Son, the days are slow, but the years are fast.”  When I was growing up, I never understood what he meant. Now, as an adult with little children, I not only understand it, I feel it. 

Remember Honus Wagner’s baseball card and why it sold for over 7 million dollars?  

It did so because of how rare it is. 

Rare things are costly. 

Rare things are precious. 

A prayer: 

Lord, teach us to number our days so we may grasp what is of true value. 

Dear Dad, ...

Father’s Day

Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Today’s post will deal specifically with Father’s since our country will celebrate Father’s Day on Sunday, June 18th.  As you can see from the above verse, the great leader of Israel is giving the nation a charge as his days of leading are coming to a close.  In the charge, we can learn several valuable insights. 

First, Joshua shares something that all men should heed. He led himself before he led anyone else.  “But as for me…” the great leader exclaimed.  Joshua understood that the mantle of leadership started with himself.  Before he expected commitment from others, he had to commit. Before he asked others to put in extra hours, he worked late.  You get the point, Joshua led by example.  That is always step one.  Jim Rohn says it best when dealing with this specific point: “Leaders must first be, then do.”

Second, just as this was personal for Joshua, his desire was that it was also personal for his family and nation.  “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.”  He knew from years of leading that no one could legislate something like this.  It has to be a personal decision made in individual hearts. Joshua knew that individuals were responsible for themselves in their decision-making. As a father, you can model, you can teach, and you can do almost everything right, but one thing you cannot do is reach into your child’s heart and change it.  The choice is theirs. As my father would say, “Son, you can’t push someone up a ladder if he’s not willing to climb himself.” 

Third, Joshua drew a circle around those he cared for most, his family. “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  Joshua knew something about influence and wanted to use it to help his family.  In Bruce Springsteen’s latest album, Letter to You, he sings a poignant song with the same title.  “Things I found out through hard times and good, I wrote 'em all out in ink and blood. Dug deep in my soul and signed my name true, and sent it in my letter to you. In my letter to you, I took all my fears and doubts. In my letter to you, all the hard things I found out. In my letter to you, all that I've found true. And I sent it in my letter to you.”  It really is a reflection between the singer and his audience.  As an aging rock star looks back at the relationship he has maintained over fifty years, he reflects in the lyrics above and is essentially saying, I poured myself out in my songs for you. A father’s life is similar in that our lives are lived for our children.  We pour ourselves out daily because of the ones we love. Fathers, although you cannot guarantee that your child(ren) will follow after the Lord, you can set the tone by creating an environment where a relationship with the Lord is part of the fabric of your home. You can do this by finding opportunities for prayer; you can wisely insert God’s Word into your family's daily life and provide valuable lessons in your own relationship with God.  Proverbs chapter 4 is particularly helpful when parenting.  In it, the advice of the wise teacher is enduring, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  You will notice that he advises a person to guard their heart. Why?  The answer is provided, “Everything you do flows from it.”  I guess this must be pretty important, as you and I do not stand guard over meaningless things.  I bet no one reading this stands guard over their garbage cans on garbage night.  The reason is that they have no value.  A father is called to lead in a way that he guards his family.  He should use discernment on the things the family listens to, watches, and is influenced by. Your influence over your child(ren) is paramount.  No one will have a voice in your family's life like you will.  

This brings me to my final point. Around this time of the year, I always listen to Coach Jim Valvano and his inspiring messages.  In one of his moving speeches, he refers to his father and says his dad gave him the greatest gift that anyone could ever have given him, “My father believed in me!” He says that every year before the season started, his dad would call him up and say, “Son, my bags are packed.”  Meaning when Jim led his team to the championship, his dad would be there.  So my final piece of advice for fathers is this:  Our expectation is for our children to obey us, and that would be right, but I say, give your child(ren) a reason to obey.  Live in such a way that your child(ren) actually wants to listen to you rather than have to.  Give your child(ren) the best gift on Father’s Day, an example to aspire to. 

Baccalaureate Speech taking the Internet by storm!

https://youtu.be/N8AWT7nhhIA

Has life passed YOU by?

Thornton Wilder, in his play Our Town, tells the story of life as it is lived out and amid the relationships of mundane daily living. We see life’s daily routine in all its monotony: the milk arrives, dinner is eaten, laborers people go to their jobs, housewives clean their homes, and handymen go to work daily.  In the story, the turning point came when Emily Gibbs died giving birth to her baby, and the routine was suddenly broken.

From the realm of the dead, Emily is given a chance to return to earth for a day of her choice as it was actually lived out, so she could enjoy it once again, this time through nostalgic eyes. She watched the activity and preparation that was going on in celebration of her twelfth birthday. As expected, on an occasion, the household is filled with presents, food, and family. The party buzzes with activity.

But from the sidelines, Emily notices the complete loss of any personal attention that would make her day and life meaningful. The attention of everyone is on the occasion, not on the person. She is appalled at what she observes. From the unseen, she pleads, "Just for a moment, we’re happy. Let’s look at one another." But her cry is disregarded. They could not hear her because they were trapped by the superficial.  As she bids her final farewell, she laments, "Oh, Earth, you’re too wonderful for anyone to realize you!"

Then she turns to the stage manager and asks, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it every, every moment?"

The response comes, "No. The saints and poets, maybe they do some."

"Do any realize life while they live it?”

Psalm 39 teaches us a somber lesson as the Psalmist provides us with keen perspective: 

“Lord, reveal to me the end of my life and the number of my days. Let me know how short-lived I am. You, indeed, have made my days short in length, and my life span as nothing in Your sight. Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor. 

Certainly, man walks about like a mere shadow.
Indeed, they frantically rush around in vain,
gathering possessions
without knowing who will get them.

Now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You.”

Maybe this would be a good time for you to take a moment and ponder this question. 

Why is it that at the end of most people’s lives, they all wish they had smiled more, worked less, and spent more quality time with those they loved the most?  More engaging conversations, a lot less arguing over the trivial, and so many more hugs. 

We tend to buzz right through life, from one calendar appointment to the next -all the while missing the remarkable moments that fill our lives. 

If this article strikes a chord with you, I will ask that you take it; post it in a place where you can see it every day.  

Because we all need reminders, don’t we?

Reminders to "Realize life while we live it."

I can't get NO satisfaction!

“So if not satisfaction, what is a worthy goal for our lives? In the words of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, “to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” When we reorient ourselves around God, rather than expect him to orient himself around us, we stop wondering what is worth living for.”1 

 In his book First Things First, Stephen Covey suggests changing the way we think about time: from the clock to the compass. Clock thinking is working out how to get more and more things done. Compass thinking is working out which things to focus on in the first place. “Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.” Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe. How often have you said, “I wish I had more time to get things done!”  The Clock represents how well we manage our time, so we are always looking for new tools and apps that can increase our efficiency by squeezing more and more tasks and activities into our daily and weekly routines.  We are doing enough of the right things that are embedded in our Compass – i.e., those first things that matter the most to us in life, like our purpose, our mission, our relationships, our values and principles, and our key priorities that were laid out so brilliantly by Stephen Covey in his best-selling book Putting First Things First. 

I recall a book that was very popular years ago titled, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” This is rather misleading, according to Covey’s advice. The reason is that the small things, indeed, make up the BIG things!  It has been said that “If you take care of the minutes, the hours will take care of themselves.”  Jesus taught this principle in Luke 16:10 when he said, “He that is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much: and he that is unrighteous in a very little is unrighteous also in much.” To clarify, the compass represents the BIG things, the things in your life that you value.  Aspects like: family, faith, friends, and career.  The clock represents the little things and how you live your daily life.  So if you want to be a happy person, you must first decide what your core values are and then hold on dearly to the things you truly value.  Then, you must live in a way that aligns with that decision.  The reason why many are unhappy today is because their Compass and their Watch are out of whack.  There is no alignment between the BIG things (their values) and the small things (how they live).  

Biblically, we see this tension in the life of our Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane. Recall the setting. The disciples were asked to stay awake and pray, yet Jesus returned to find them snoozing. Remember, many will confuse your goal(s) if they do not understand your compass, which is invisible, and the watch is visible. What was important to Jesus at that time seemingly was not to His followers. You will be driven by your values more than those around you - pursue them anyway! I digress; back to the point, Jesus was in deep despair, yet we find Him praying, “Not my will, but your will be done.” Jesus was keenly aware of what was right about the corner. He understood the assignment, yet He unflinchingly bowed to the will of God for His life. Why did He do this? Better yet, HOW did he do this? It was because His highest value was found in delighting His Father. Circling back to the original quote, he found satisfaction in a worthy goal. Satisfaction is something we all pursue, so hopefully, your life follows your values, providing you with the satisfaction you are looking for.     

1. Amy Simpson, ALL THE SATISFACTION WE CAN'T FIND: WHY FILLING THAT 'GOD-SHAPED HOLE' MAY NOT BE GOD'S PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Why is EVERYONE so MEAN!!!!

What do you see? A man entered a village and went to the monastery on the edge of town, where he was welcomed by an old monk, the wise man of the village. The visitor said, “I am deciding whether I should move here or not. I’m wondering what kind of neighborhood this is. Can you tell me about the people here?” The old monk said, “Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from.” The visitor said, “Oh, they were highway robbers, cheats and liars.” The monk said, “You know, those are exactly the same kinds of people who live here.” The visitor left the village and never came back. Half an hour later, another man entered the village. He sought out the wise old man and said, “I’m thinking of moving here. Can you tell me what kind of people live here?” Again the monk said, “Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from.” The visitor said, “Oh, they were the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate, most loving people. I shall miss them terribly. The old monk said, “Those are exactly the kinds of people who live here, too.” This is the story I share with the congregation every time new members join Faith Presbyterian Church. I explain that there is no perfect church and that we are all imperfect sinners saved by a perfect Savior. In essence, if you are joining the church with the expectation that “this’ church is faultless, then you will be disappointed. The Apostle Paul concludes his Epistle to the Corinthians with the following admonition,” Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves” (II Cor. 13:5). Paul wants us to think critically about our life. The book of James echos this teaching when he writes, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like” (Jm. 1:22-24). The idea is for you and me to take an honest look at ourselves. A person's perspective colors their entire life.  Everyone you know is living with an invisible set of sunglasses on their face that shades how they see life around them.  Taken further, you could also add a set of earbuds filtering how one hears and takes in information.  While looking at ourselves honestly, we will discover many things: some delightful, some painful. A great way to gain perspective on yourself is by listening to those around you whom you love and trust. If you ask them, you will receive proper feedback.  Self-reflection becomes vital to healthy relationships because if one is not in touch with themselves to some degree, then they run the risk of distorting everything around them. Let us circle back to the story at the beginning of this article; one lesson that we can gain is that what you see is what you get. Both men experienced the same community of people yet had a contrary viewpoint on them. Have you ever noticed that two people can go through the very same thing yet experience it very differently? A primary reason is how you see the world. Stephen Covey teaches in his book, The 8th Habit, the following, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.” As you travel through life, do you relate more with the first or the second traveler? 

Anger is Acid

A Senior Monk and a Junior Monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side. The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman. Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his 
journey. The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, and finally, the younger monk could contain himself any longer and blurted out, “As monks, we are not permitted a woman; how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?” The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river; why are you still carrying her?” Mark Twain said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Life will have plenty of opportunities for anger. The tricky part about anger is that it is a God-given emotion.  Even Jesus got angry. The distinguishing factor is that our Lord’s anger was righteous anger.  I don't want to sound pious, but His anger was healthy, and your anger could be too. Dr. Henry Cloud, in his helpful book, 9 Things a Leader Must Do, teaches the following: “Hate is one of the most important aspects of being human. It is one of the most crucial ingredients of a good person's character. What we hate says a lot about who we are, what we value, and what we care about… basically we are defined in part by what we love and what we hate. What we love shows what we will invest in, go for, move toward, give time and resources to, and orient ourselves toward with the best part of who we are. You can tell a lot about people by what they hate.” Let’s circle back to the story at the beginning. The point of today's post is to give you a proper understanding of anger. Unhealthy anger can and will destroy you over the course of your life if left unchecked. It has a way of blinding, isolating, and spilling over to every area of your life.  I have heard it said, "If you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn't cut you." And that's unfair.

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

Have you ever watched the movie, “We Bought a Zoo?” The movie is centered around a true story about a man named Benjamin Mee. It outlines a man’s attempt to rebuild his and his two children’s life after a devastating circumstance occurs. If you have ever watched the movie, you will no doubt recall the powerful scene when the father is standing with his two children outside of a restaurant, retelling them about when he initially met their mother. He retells the children about when he first saw her inside the restaurant, how he felt when he saw her beauty, and then goes into detail about how he approached their mother with trepidation. He explains how timid he was to go up and start a conversation with her. Then he explains to the kids that he decided to face his fears, and says, “You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you, something great will come of it.” Twenty seconds. A few weeks ago, I was preaching about a woman named Rahab. Rahab was a prostitute. You can read more about her story in Joshua Chapter . A quick summary for the sake of space and time is that she saved two Hebrew spies from death by making a deal with them. The deal was that she would hide their whereabouts, but when they returned, they must spare her and her family. I keep thinking about that decision she made. It was a gutsy one, indeed! She put her life and the life of her family on the line. If the Hebrew spies had gotten caught, it meant she was a traitor and ensured certain death. The Scripture informs us that the spies made it safely to their destination and, upon return, saved Rahab and her family. In fact, one of the spies ended up marrying her! Marvelously, Rahab is mentioned several times throughout the New Testament, once in the book of James, once in the book of Hebrews, and once in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. Let’s go back to the twenty seconds… I think a lot about Rahab and wonder about her decision. I wonder how long she wanted out of that lifestyle. I wonder if she had prayed for a better future than the one she was involved in. I wonder about her courageous decision to act. Now I wonder about you. Is there something that you have wanted to do but have been too scared of? Maybe you just need twenty seconds of insane courage

The Lonely Ember

Years ago, I read a story called, “The Lonely Ember.”   A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the pastor decided to visit him. It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire.   Guessing the reason for his pastor’s visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a big chair near the fireplace and waited. The pastor made himself comfortable but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the play of the flames around the burning logs.   After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet fascination.   As the one lone ember’s flame diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and “dead as a doornail.”   Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting.   Just before the pastor was ready to leave, he picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.   As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said, “Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday.” The story above teaches us two powerful lessons: First, it reminds us that we should attend worship on a regular basis. Isolation is a bad thing. Cutting ourselves off from one another is never a positive thing, and oftentimes isolation leads to negative consequences. The New Year is among us; I am not sure about your relationship with Church. I am not too concerned about the Denomination, more so that you attend regularly. Yes, I know firsthand that, unfortunately, churches are indeed filled with imperfect people. But I like to remind folks that we are imperfect people saved by a perfect Savior. Attending church has its benefits. You might find a community that supports you, a place to keep you motivated to live a better life, enjoy meeting people with similar values, and contribute your God-given talents. Why not find a church and visit? Second, if you are a regular attendee, look around, and see who is not in the pews. Did you know there are roughly 59 “one another” statements in the New Testament? I.e. “Love one another”, “Be devoted to one another”, “Be patient with one another”, Etc. Community is important to the Christian faith. Oftentimes, people fall away for whatever reason and need a phone call or personal visit. Going the extra mile just might be what a person needs to feel the warmth of the fire again.

What is inside of the Gold Box ???

What is in the Gold Box? Once upon a time, there was a man who worked very hard just to keep food on the table for his family. This particular year a few days before Christmas, he punished his little five-year-old daughter after learning that she had used up the family's only roll of expensive wrapping paper. As money was tight, he became even more upset when on Christmas Eve he saw that the child had used all of the expensive paper to decorate one shoebox she had put under the Christmas tree. He also was concerned about where she had gotten money to buy what was in the shoebox. Nevertheless, the next morning the little girl, filled with excitement, brought the gift box to her father and said, "This is for you, Daddy!" As he opened the box, the father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, now regretting how he had punished her. But when he opened the shoebox, he found it was empty and again his anger flared. "Don't you know, young lady," he said harshly, "when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside the package!" Image result for gold box The little girl looked up at him with sad tears rolling from her eyes and whispered: "Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was all full." The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his precious little girl. He begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger. -Author Unknown. With Christmas right around the corner, it might be a little too easy to miss the incredible love that God has for you by looking in all the wrong places. The beauty of the season is not to be found in the shopping malls, or the TV sets. Rather it is discovered when you can finally comprehend the absolute love of God, found wrapped in the manger. Like the father in the story that initially missed the moment of grace provided by his daughter, we can too overlook the moment that changed history if we do not see the baby in the manger. Merry Christmas!

Don't Waste Your Time!

Have you ever wished for a 30 hour day? Imagine all of the extra time to fulfill those loose ends that keep on building up around you. Like that pile of laundry that is hitting your ceiling. Like those books that are sitting next to your bed. Like those letters that needed sent out yesterday still sitting on your desk. Would more hours really mean more productivity?  I think not.  If we are honest with ourselves, I am sure we would all find a way to fill those extra hours with more of the same unnecessary things we do now.  This is why Lord Chesterfield stated, “If you take care of the minutes the hours will take care of themselves."  The Apostle Paul as well urges us to care for our time when he writes, “Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15). I came across a piece of advice years ago that has transformed how I utilize my time.  It is called the "Tyranny of the Urgent."  The basic idea is as follows: "You cannot let the urgent things crowd out the important.” Simple, yet powerful advice. I cannot tell you how many times I am trying to accomplish something important and magically I find myself involved in some type of nonsense. Time to clip my toe nails.Time to catch up on my 1,320 Facebook friends. Time to perform an intense research study on the cast of "My so called Life.” This is why I adhere to the 11th Commandment of time management,” Do not leave undone those things which you ought to have done; or you will have done those things which you ought not have done.  With this in mind, everyday when I walk into work I have a list of the important items that I need to accomplish.  Then I work feverishly to accomplish that list and by the end of most days I do.  This method helps me sift through what is necessary and what is not.  In short, I have to be intentional about fighting the tyranny of the urgent because I know that without a plan, the seemingly urgent things will find a way to creep in and take over my life. 

TRUE north

The North Star serves many as the directing principle while navigating nature. For centuries navigators utilized this natural guide to aid them in their destination. I would argue that mankind needs a North Star aiding them to navigate life as well. The True North that should guide us is contained in the two important qualities our Lord displayed in His earthly ministry: truth and grace. We read in the Gospel of John that Jesus,“became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (Jn 1:14). It is my contention that these two qualities become the believers guiding principles throughout their lives. Other Scripture’s speak to this dynamic such as: "Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ” (Eph. 4:15) “…which has come to you, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and increasing—as it also does among you, since the day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth” (Col. 1:6) “Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love” (2 Jn. 2:3). We see the emphasis of two critical ideas on the same coin, but different sides. Love and grace are so important because this will cause me to slow down, consider the situation, and take in all the information. I think about this as “pumping the breaks” and allowing God to work fully. We see this throughout the Gospels with our Lord as He would draw near to “sinners” while the crowd stood at a distance. I find it insightful that when we examine how Jesus ministered, He was always near people, and in doing so, was able to better minister to them. Hearing people’s stories is powerful and loving, it shows the person that you genuinely care. On the other hand we have, truth. You cannot love someone without guiding them to the truth. Oftentimes, our culture deems truth as “mean” or “intolerant”, however, that is far from reality. Consider a caring parent that is guiding their child throughout their lives. It would be grossly unloving if the parent(s) simply allowed that child to make poor decisions that the parent could have helped to prevent. The main issue, that I (and from my observation) many other believers need to think through is not speaking the truth, rather thinking through the manner by which truth is spoken. We can learn much from Proverbs 25:11 in this regard, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is a word aptly spoken.” Meaning, it is not just what you say -but how you say it. Oftentimes, we need to think through how we will deliver truth and also take in consideration the timing of the message. All of this is hard work which is why love is so critical to the process. In conclusion, I utilize the concepts of truth (grace) and love in all of my relationships, from parenting to ministry, and everything in between. I believe these two ideas sit on the same seesaw but on different sides and it is up to me to carefully and prayerfully consider how best to utilize them. Though not always done perfectly, having these two principles pointing me toward Truth North will most likely guide me to the best destination.