Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall.

The Mirror Principle

People unaware of who they are and what they do often damage relationships with others. The way to change that is to look in the mirror. Consider these truths that we must learn about ourselves:

-Self-Awareness.

Human nature seems to endow people with the ability to size up everybody in the world but themselves.

-Self-Image.

Your image of yourself restricts your ability to build healthy relationships. A negative self- image will keep a person from being successful. If those with a poor self-image do somehow achieve success, it won’t last because they will eventually bring themselves down to the level of their own expectations.

-Self-Honesty.

Comedian Jack Parr quipped,“Looking back, my life seems like one big obstacle race, with me being the chief obstacle.”What can save us is a willingness

to get honest about our shortcomings, faults and problems.

-Self-Improvement.

Critic Samuel Johnson advised that “he who has so little knowledge of human nature as

to seek happiness by changing anything but his own dis- position will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multi- ply the grief which he purposes to remove.”

-Self-Responsibility.

No significant accomplishments can be achieved by individual effort. However, every significant accomplishment begins with the vision of  one individual. Once we possess the vision, we must take responsibility for carrying it to others.

What is "The Lens Principle?"

The Readiness Question: Are You Prepared for Relationships?

Not everyone has the skills to initiate, build and sustain

good, healthy relationships. Many people grow up in dysfunctional households and never have positive relationships modeled for them. 

Some people are so focused on themselves and their needs that others might as well not even exist. Still others have been hurt so badly in the past that

they see the whole world through the filter of their pain.

Because of huge relational blind spots, they don’t know

themselves or how to relate to people in a healthy way. It

takes relationally healthy people to build great relationships.

The Lens Principle:

Who you are determines what you see and the way

you see it. 

What is around us doesn’t determine what

we see:

What is within us does. 

And who you are determines how you see others. If you are a trusting person,

you will see others as trustworthy. If you are a critical

person, you will see others as critical. If you are a car-

ing person, you will see others as compassionate.

-The way you view others is determined by who you are-

If you don’t like people, that really is a statement about you

and the way you look at people. Your viewpoint is the problem. If that’s the case, don’t try to change others. 

Don’t even focus on others; focus on yourself. 

If you change yourself and become the kind of person you desire to be,

you will begin to view others in a whole new light. 

And that will change the way you interact in all of your relationships.

What is your Wake?

The Wake 

One of my favorite things to do is to sit on the back deck of a boat going across the ocean and just watch the wake. It is such a beautiful, ever-changing creation as the ship continues on its path. 

You can tell a lot about a ship as you look at its wake. 

If it is in a straight line, you get a feeling that the boat is steadily on course, and that the captain is not dozing at the wheel, or that an engine or a shaft is not somehow out of whack. But if it is wavering, you begin to wonder. Also, if it is smooth and flat, you know something about the speed of the boat, and if it is steep, you can tell something about its drag. In other words, what the wake looks like can tell you a lot about the boat itself. 

-With people, the same thing is true.

When a person travels through a few years with an organization, or with a partnership, or any other kind of working association, he leaves a “wake” behind in these two areas: task and relationship. 

-What did they accomplish and how did they deal with people?

So, we must look out over the transom (the flat surface forming the stern of a vessel) and ask ourselves, “What does that wake look like?” 
Are a lot of people out there water-skiing on our wake  -smiling, having a great time for our having been connected to our lives”? Or are they out there bobbing for air, bleeding, and left wounded as shark bait?

Henry Cloud, Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality, HarperCollins.

What is the Ivy Lee Method?

The Ivy Lee Method: 

The Daily Routine Experts Recommend for Peak Productivity

by James Clear

By 1918, Charles M. Schwab was one of the richest men in the world.

Schwab was the president of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the largest shipbuilder and the second-largest steel producer in America at the time. The famous inventor Thomas Edison once referred to Schwab as the “master hustler.” He was constantly seeking an edge over the competition. [1]

One day in 1918, in his quest to increase the efficiency of his team and discover better ways to get things done, Schwab arranged a meeting with a highly-respected productivity consultant named Ivy Lee.

Lee was a successful businessman in his own right and is widely remembered as a pioneer in the field of public relations. As the story goes, Schwab brought Lee into his office and said, “Show me a way to get more things done.”

“Give me 15 minutes with each of your executives,” Lee replied.

“How much will it cost me,” Schwab asked.

“Nothing,” Lee said. “Unless it works. After three months, you can send me a check for whatever you feel it’s worth to you.” [2]

The Ivy Lee Method

During his 15 minutes with each executive, Lee explained his simple method for achieving peak productivity:

1. At the end of each work day, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. Do not write down more than six tasks.
2. Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.
3. When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
4. Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
5. Repeat this process every working day.

The strategy sounded simple, but Schwab and his executive team at Bethlehem Steel gave it a try. After three months, Schwab was so delighted with the progress his company had made that he called Lee into his office and wrote him a check for $25,000.

A $25,000 check written in 1918 is the equivalent of a $400,000 check in 2015. [3]

The Ivy Lee Method of prioritizing your to-do list seems stupidly simple. How could something this simple be worth so much?

What makes it so effective?

Portrait of Ivy Ledbetter Lee from the early 1900s. (Photographer: Unknown)