Working on a Dream




Monday, February 18, 2013

Why Christen is my BIG rock. "Saving your Marriage Pt. 5"

One day an expert leader was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point he used an illustration that those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"
Everyone in the class said, "Yes."

Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied.
He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.
Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class shouted.
Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim.

Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "That's not the point."
The truth this illustration teaches us is: "If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

How to Save your Marriage:
Let me ask you a question: What are the 'big rocks' in your life? 
I want you to take a notepad & a pen, then take 5 - 10 minutes alone to write out what your BIG rocks are.  Don't lie either ... because the next step is for you to go to your spouse and show them the list. And trust me, if the things on your list do not square up with reality - they will let you know. Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first, or you will never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff, then you will end up filling your life with little things you worry about. And do not be surprised if you never have the real quality time you need to spend on the BIG, important stuff. 

Many of us are familiar with the words of Genesis 2:24, "A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife." But many do not know that the word "united" is a Hebrew word dabaq, which means, "to cling to / catch or to pursue passionately." Do you want a strong marriage? Then passionately pursue your spouse with the same fervish love that you once did when you where dating.  Here is one thing that I know for certain; before your spouse became your spouse, they were the BIG rock. For many, they were the only rock in the jar and everybody knew it.  I'll ask you again, Do you want a strong marriage? Then passionately pursue your spouse for rest of your life.

Charlie made me put a picture of him today because he says he is partially responsible for Christen & me getting along so well.  He says he's about 65 % of the reason.

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